So, this is the year. I turn a half a century old. It’s crazy, because I feel as if I’m in my early 30s… Maybe I will always feel that way, but the reality is I’m starting the back half of life and hopefully I will get to experience as much of it as possible.
Today as I went running, I felt like God asked me what my days would look like if they were to look like what I desired for them to look like? That sounds confusing, but I knew what he meant: Bed by 10:00 or 10:30pm. Get Up around 6:00 or 6:30am to go run, read my Bible…well, just be up early so I could be with him. I want to stay focused, be productive and have a slightly more defined schedule. I find that I like having structure, but I don’t want to be restrained by it. I thrive on spontaneity, but that doesn’t always lend itself to productivity.
Then I felt like the Lord asked me, what my goals for this BIG year look like? I hadn’t given it much thought, but there’s a lot of things I’d still like to do and aspects of me that I’d still like to change or be more confident in, but ultimately; if my soul is truly honest, my ultimate goal would be to follow him better…better this year than ever before.
Which then begs the question, what exactly does that look like? In Luke 3:23 it says, “If anyone should come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” So obviously, the first “goal” would be to get better at denying myself – to practice restraint throughout the day in terms of my desires, my rights, my expectations or even my needs. To say no when God says no.
To take up my cross would be to put on my big girl panties and take an honest look at my life, my family, my ministry and circumstances and walk in the present, trusting that God‘s grace covers all of it. That instead of being distracted by what I want things to look like, I can fully embrace the reality of what they do look like.
I suppose the key to taking up one’s cross is having an honest perspective of what one’s truth is and actually walking it out. I don’t think until we honestly acknowledge all that we are – weaknesses and strengths – and all that has been true in our lives, can we honestly be ourselves. Without that kind of authenticity, we ultimately have to create places to hide, vices to depend on and masks to wear. I have learned that I am very uncomfortable in any sort of mask. This is not always to my benefit or comfort, but it is proving to challenge me to live more and more as me, but that is for another blog.
So how do I better follow him this year? For me that would involve listening to what he is saying or has been saying. One word that I have heard from him off and on for 20 years now is “downsize.” I know what the word means, but it’s been a challenge to figure out what that word is intended to mean for me. When he first said it to me, I was single, in a small apartment in Oak Harbor, Washington, and the truth is I didn’t have a lot of things…but I knew I heard him say it. I have realized more of what that means as I’ve grown as a person, grown into a marriage and a family and acquired an abundance of things.
As we are blessed, more is required of us in order to manage that blessing; and I daresay, I’ve probably taken a lot more than I was ever intended to have. It’s that abundance that can often distract me from enjoying the things which God has actually gifted me. I think God knows that I would do better to manage only that which is meant to be mine. I love that we now have a Marshall’s in our little town, but it does require that prior to entering, I must surrender my “wanter” to Jesus, ask him for eyes to enjoy all the things that are there and to only buy that which he intends for me to have.
All that suggests that this year I need to go through my house and bless others with the things that were never actually mine to have in the first place. Oh, to have ears to hear and definitely know what those things are.
So, as I embark on my 50th year, I pray I truly purpose to follow Jesus better; to deny myself more and to be more present in the unique life I have been given.
In the Meanwhile…
So how can you better follow Jesus this year?
What has He been talking to you about that you just need to choose to obey?
Do it, and watch your life become what you’ve always wanted it to be. Trust God. He’s just leading you closer to Him so you can become a more truer version of yourself.
My BIG day is May 23. I can’t believe it, but it’s part of my cross right now and I’m picking it up with great expectation. I don’t know which side of 50 you are on or what circumstances are trying to define you right now, but I pray that you choose to follow Jesus with more intentionality this year, that you purpose to listen to what He has to say and then with full abandon, you do it.
Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess. Deuteronomy 5:33
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in obedience to him. Psalm 128:1
Downsizing — a work in progress!!!! About the time I am ready to dispose of some of my ‘worldly’ possessions, that nasty little ‘demon’ whispers in my ear, “You may need it”!!!! When — 5 or 10 years down the road!!! Come on!!!! On a brighter note — age is only a number Geri!!!
I have the same whisper. I’m trying to pass on something everyday. It’s helping. 🙂
I love your encouragement, Geri! So many great gems in this post. For me, I’m trying to be a better listener this year as I follow the Lord….not rushing ahead of Him, but quieting my heart/mind as I ask for wisdom and direction. I’m realizing I’m not so good at this skill….but I’m slowly learning! Thanks for sharing your heart!
I can’t wait to hear all the sweet things He tells you as you listen. 🙂
This is a powerful word- so much here.
My strong and steady Word from God has been to “Be Still”. I’ve know this for years.
In terms of age, I decided at 30 to be happy- really grateful- for the peak so many others dread. As I continue to live, I am reminded that not everyone had that opportunity, just as not everyone will have the opportunity to turn 50. This helps me to remember how wonderful every year is.
I love how when He says Be Still, it’s His way of showing us how to move forward. 🙂